From the Rabbi's Desk

Have you ever run away from something? Have you ever hidden something? Perhaps you’ve looked the other way or denied something that was true? These are natural human instincts we each have. We often close our eyes and hide from things that are just too difficult to face. This isn’t because something is wrong with us. This isn’t because we’re guilty of having done something wrong. This is because, as humans, we live with many emotions and some of them cause us to do things we can’t easily understand. In reality, more often than not, we realize the thing we feared or ran away from wasn’t all that bad or harmful and we could have dealt with it when it first showed its face to us.

Two weeks ago, in פרשת תולדות/Parshat Toldot, we witnessed יעקב/YaAkov/Jacob, tricking his father and stealing his brother, עשו/Esau’s, blessing. This action put עשו into a rage and he wanted to kill יעקב. Since that time יעקב had been on the run. He had been running away from his troubles and living in fear. Quite some time has passed by this week’s Parsha, פרשת וישלח/Parshat VaYishlach. He had just left his father-in-law’s home after he worked for some 20 years and having had 11 sons and one daughter. So a great deal of time has gone by and now in this week’s reading יעקב was aware he was about to confront all he’d been running from. His brother, עשו, was in the area and there clearly had to be a reunion. יעקב was so scared he divided his household into many groups so not all of them would be killed at once by his vengeful brother. The fear was immense. The pain was immense. The worry was immense. יעקב believed himself to be in an existential crisis that could end his life. What happens when they finally met was breathtaking to say the least.

וַיִּשָּׂא יַעֲקֹב עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה עֵשָׂו בָּא וְעִמּוֹ אַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת אִישׁ וַיַּחַץ אֶת־הַיְלָדִים עַל־לֵאָה וְעַל־רָחֵל וְעַל שְׁתֵּי הַשְּׁפָחוֹת׃

Looking up, Jacob saw Esau coming, accompanied by four hundred men. He divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maids, 

וַיָּשֶׂם אֶת־הַשְּׁפָחוֹת וְאֶת־יַלְדֵיהֶן רִאשֹׁנָה וְאֶת־לֵאָה וִילָדֶיהָ אַחֲרֹנִים וְאֶת־רָחֵל וְאֶת־יוֹסֵף אַחֲרֹנִים׃

putting the maids and their children first, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. 

וְהוּא עָבַר לִפְנֵיהֶם וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ אַרְצָה שֶׁבַע פְּעָמִים עַד־גִּשְׁתּוֹ עַד־אָחִיו׃

He himself went on ahead and bowed low to the ground seven times until he was near his brother.

וַיָּרׇץ עֵשָׂו לִקְרָאתוֹ וַיְחַבְּקֵהוּ וַיִּפֹּל עַל־צַוָּארָו וַיִּשָּׁקֵהוּ וַיִּבְכּוּ׃

(בראשית לג:א-ד)

After all that fear, and all of that running, the reunion was not one of vengeance but one of brotherly love. That isn’t to say יעקב’s fears had been unfounded and irrational. It’s to say often the fear of the unknown is so much worse than the reality of the known. We run from things because we don’t understand them. We run from things because we worry about what could happen. We run because that’s how we best cope with the world in which we’re operating. With all of that said, perhaps there is a deeper lesson? Perhaps we all need to recognize that our instinct to flee too often holds us back. Perhaps our instinct to avoid delays our ability to grow. Perhaps our instinct to flee is there to help us survive, but hinders our ability to thrive.

With all of that said, we each need to recognize we carry too much around with us that we’re hiding from. We all too often run from something we could just deal with and move on from. While this behavior can’t be corrected 100%, we can work on ourselves and find moments where we can deal with and confront what we fear and gain back the time we would’ve wasted on those moments in the future. We can each take steps to confront our fears, both individually and collectively.